Today, we're going to walk through the last of the 13 Secrets for Effective Communication in the Classroom #13 - We won’t make stuff up (a.k.a. When Teachers Lie).
       Watch the YouTube video of all 13 Secrets here >>> https://youtu.be/GHsFJ-QNKHw
        This one is super tempting. You’re the boss. You know what’s best for your kids. You know what’s dangerous or foolish. You have the combined wisdom of your family tree, your friends, the adults around you, your church family, and your spouse. But this does not mean you get to just make up rules because it would be easier for you.
       Your younger kids haven’t experienced enough yet, but as your kids get older, many of them will begin to see right through your smokescreen rules. They’ll ask you why, and you won’t have a good enough reason, so you might say, “Because I said so.” You might have even heard your parents use this one on you. And you didn’t like it either.
       As parents, you do have the authority, but you must rule with a gentle and wise firmness that does not “provoke your children to anger.” So your rules have to make sense. You have to explain them. This is a good thing. I know many of us might be afraid to let our children see the man behind the curtain (Remember, the Great Wizard of Oz)! We’re hesitant to explain the rules because it’s hard. It takes work. And some of us are fearful that the more we explain to our kids, the more we’ll learn our rules aren’t fair. Our eight-year-old might even point it out to us.
       An example: The other day, some kids were playing out on the shared lawn between our apartments. They had a pretty cool blow-up water slide. Kids were climbing up and sliding down and spraying each other with the water hose and having a blast. One of the kids was leaning slightly on an inflatable wall — no big deal — but the parent didn’t like it. It wasn’t unsafe or going to damage the slide. It just wasn’t “the way it’s supposed to be.” The parent didn’t want to get up from their lawn chair and didn’t want to explain themselves, so they told the kid to get off the wall because they didn’t want someone to get hurt. No one was going to get hurt, and this parent knew it. They also knew that they were the boss and playing the “Someone’s Going to Get Hurt” card is supposed to end the discussion. So they played it.
       Another example: We knew some parents who wanted to wean their child off of pacifiers. So they cut the tips off all the pacifiers and told their kid, “Sorry, look, all the pacifiers are broken,” and broke the habit cold turkey. They were well-intentioned, I’m sure, but this is one of those parental lies. They didn’t want to do the hard work of talking with their child, so they made stuff up. A contrasting example: When we were ready to transition our girl off pacifiers, we prepped her for it. We talked with her, explained that she was a big girl now and big girls don’t use pacifiers. Then we celebrated her Big Girl Day, let her get dolled up in her favorite dress, bought her a small bouquet of flowers, and made a big deal of her Rite of Passage.
       Did your parents ever play those cards on you? Couldn’t you see right through it? Didn’t anger begin to brew inside you? Especially as you got older.
       I can’t think of a single instance when it’s better to feed them small lies because it’s easier for us. How much better to talk about these things when they’re younger. Even when they’re squirrely. Even when it’s tough. Even when it seems they aren’t listening. Even when we don’t have time. Even when we’re tired. Especially when we don’t want to. Because that is likely when they need us to talk things out the most.
       Conversation of the Day: What teacher lie is most tempting for you to tell students?
       Hop on over to watch the video and share your thoughts in the conversation.
Check out the other rules >>>



These rules are adapted with permission from Roger and Becky Tirabassi's premarital workbook for seriously dating and engaged couples - The Seriously Dating or Engaged Workbook. Roger and Becky have also co-authored a book for married couples called Little Changes Big Results for Crazy, Busy Couples. The principles in these books have changed so many areas of our life. We highly recommend them.

        Today, we’re gonna talk about how we try to stay sane and make the last days of the school year matter.. 
        Watch the YouTube video here >>> https://youtu.be/tFMAj96tmh8
       This time of year, we know how you’re feeling. Burnt out. Exhausted. Hoping to survive the last weeks without the kids going crazy. It’s hard to find activities that still have meaning.
        Especially if you have older kids … they know you’ve already inputted their grades and nothing they do really matters. How do you get those kids to care? And more importantly for our sanity, how do we keep our classroom management from flushing down the toilet?
        We wanted to give you a couple of ideas by sharing how we tried it. These ideas might not be perfect, but we’re always open for learning, right?
        LISA: My elementary school always had activities that made the end of the year seem fairly scheduled. Field day, awards assembly, no citation celebration activity, class party, etc. My classroom management in my first and second grade classroom definitely flowed from an understanding that we were all a team trying to help each other and build each other up. We worked as a team to get the classroom ready for the last day of school. I would write on the whiteboard the list of what needed to get done . . . things like collect reading books, clean out desks, wipe down desks, take down student work from walls and other such things. Kids would help get it all done. I’d have them write about something they hope to remember about the school year and kids could read them in front of the class. I made simple autograph books for my class since many kids didn’t get yearbooks at that age. They got to decorate the books to make it special to them. I taught them about signing their name (not cursive yet, just putting their name) and what type of words you could write in a person’s book next to your name. We brainstormed compliments and wrote them on the board so they knew how to spell them if they wanted to use some. The very last day we finished up cleaning the classroom. We pushed all the desks to the side and stacked our chairs. We might have a dance party, I’d read some favorite read alouds, have extra recess time, I think one year I had them write thank-you letters to school support staff and we’d deliver them, and just try to have a relaxing, fun day in general.  
        JONATHAN: I had a hard time for many years. I always felt like I was trying to find ways to hoodwink the kids into thinking activities actually mattered. I would even assign busywork and keep the kids guessing about whether I was going to miraculously get all this new stuff graded. Then I’d file it in the circular file (see Episode 8 for more on that or just search on YouTube for Circular File).
        It wasn’t till three years ago or so that I finally landed on an activity I was satisfied with. I started by thinking, How can I utilize these last days of 7th and 8th graders’ school years to impact the rest of their lives, especially since I’m not gonna grade any of this. So I started doing this...
        I hand out a simple 3x5 notecard to each student. On one side, I have them write the things they're afraid of about the future, about high school, college, and adulthood. Then on the other side, I have them write questions they’ve always wanted to ask an adult but never have. I advise them that I have the right to skip questions if I think they’re inappropriate and that I’m just one grownup dude in the world with my opinions, but I’ll share my thoughts on almost any question they really want to know the answer about the future and adulthood. >>> Download the free teaching resource here.
        And the response and results have been unbelievable. Our middle schoolers are thinking deeply about life. They have seriously real fears and thoughts, and they really have never had anyone speak into those big questions. Questions about:

• how taxes work
• how to choose a good college
• how to stay out of debt
• how to not end up divorced
• how to make sure their kids aren’t screwed up
• how to not end up poor
• how to choose a career
• how to not be a bored and depressed adult
• how to travel and have fun as an adult

        Big and important questions. So many more than that short list. And they listen intensely to the answers, they’re soaking it in, they’re dying for these answers. They see the pain their parents are living through and they are very afraid of repeating that pain in their own lives. They want answers. They want hope.
        So I give what I can, and those 3 days of class are deeply meaningful. Sure, there are a couple of kids who are antagonistic toward the process, but the other kids literally tell them to shut up because they want to learn about the rest of their lives.
        Then there are the yearbook days, which can feel like a waste of time, but I try to reframe the days. I call them “making memories days.” I remind them there is a reason they’re called “Mementos,” and they should respect and honor each other’s memory books. I buy a yearbook every year and ask my students to sign it, to leave a memory in my book of this year of my life.
        And here’s the kicker, I sign every kid’s yearbook who asks me. And not just my name. I sign with a heartfelt blessing for them. This requires some work ahead of time. I have to spend days/weeks thinking about each kid and what makes them uniquely awesome, what they’ve achieved this year, how they’ve grown, what is their special mark I see them making on their world. And I give them that. That is my gift to them. Sure, I tell them throughout the year, but I also want to tell them in their Memento. It’s worth my time. They aren’t wasted days.
        And the kids love it. You should see them go back to their desk and read their blessing. I know for sure many of them have never received a blessing like that, someone looking into their soul and trying to put that into words of identity for them. Sure, again, I’m just one dude, but I want them to know that I saw them.
        So these are just a couple of ideas from a couple of fellow teachers, but we wanted to share them in case you’re still looking for that idea you can latch onto.
        Conversation of the Day: What’s a meaningful way you try to end the school year without the kids going cray?
          Hop on over to watch the video and share your thoughts in the conversation.

        Today, we’re gonna talk about how your bank can help you save money for those long-term teacher goals. Watch the YouTube video here >>> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoEpbhXb-DI
         Here’s the problem we had: we’d save money in our bank, but it was all going into a giant fund and we didn’t know which money was for what goal. Then we found a bank that had what we wanted, separate savings accounts. We needed a bank that would let us open mini accounts within our main account. SchoolsFirst was the bank that worked for us, but you just need to find one that has this ability.
         So here’s what we do now. We thought up all the long-term items we wanted to save money for. Basically, anything that we’d get hit by those $500+ bombs that always make us feel like we don’t have money for them.

• New/Used Car
• Auto Maintenance
• Tires
• Travel
• TV
• Refrigerator
• Washer/Dryer
• Mattress
• Computers
• Computer Software/Virus Protection
• Phones
• Cameras
• Kids' College
• Down Payment on a House

         Then we made a mini-account for each one. SchoolsFirst calls them “shares.” We planned how much we needed to save each month so we’d have enough saved when we needed to purchase each goal. Then each month when we get paid, we would immediately transfer that amount into each mini-account.
         And here’s the key … you can’t spend these savings accounts. Do it each month and the money will be there for you when these “surprises” come. But let’s just be honest … they aren’t surprises. We know these expenses are coming … we just need to plan for them.
         So our success story with this. A few months ago we wanted a new mattress. We’d spent the last 24 months saving up for it, and we went and bought it. Had all the money we needed. This month we move and needed a fridge and had more than half the amount we needed. We didn’t have all, but we hadn’t been saving long enough to have the whole amount, so we were fine with that. Then guess what, this month, we start saving for our next fridge.
         We hope this lead you toward some skills to help you make it through the year and those summer months without paychecks. We welcome your ideas too because we’re a community, and we’ve got lots to learn from each other.
        Conversation of the Day: What tips/tricks/strategies do you have to save for your long-term goals?
          Hop on over to watch the video and share your thoughts in the conversation.

        Today, we’re talking about out of control classrooms and how getting some street cred can help teachers with classroom management! Watch the YouTube video here >>> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OJNf2PO3W0
         So we’re this far into the school year, and many years for me, this was about the time my classroom management started slipping. Kids are getting a little more wired, and I need a boost.
        First off, it’s probably time to review the classroom guidelines one more time and ask them for feedback if the consequences are fair and working. Then crack down on those for a few weeks till those are back in line.
        But those guidelines alone are often not enough. And they’re certainly not fun. It’s time to start working on your street cred. What do we mean by “street cred”? Your credibility! Students love seeing that their teachers aren’t just old fuddy duddies that only care about the boring classroom stuff.
        You’ve gotta get out of your classroom and have some fun with them! Don’t worry, this is not a waste of time. These times are super valuable investments in your classroom management.

• Go play basketball or soccer with them.
• Eat with them for fun.
• Join in the karaoke at the lunch area, and if there isn’t karaoke, get your student leaders to set it up.
• Or get teachers to set it up and all of you do a song.
• Jump into the spirit competitions where you catch food off your forehead or pie eating contests.
• Take a chair outside and grade your papers. Just to look weird … And get out of your classroom into the sun.
• Plan a teacher flash mob dance performance at nutrition break or lunchtime.
• Take a role in the student play. Especially if there’s a singing part.
• Change into some exercise clothes and join them on the track during P.E. class.

        Anything really. As long as it’s creative, surprising, amazing, and even making a fool of yourself. Something outside your classroom walls. They’ll see you as human. And they’ll appreciate your humor and self-mockery. And here’s the key … when they return to the confines of your classrooms walls, they’ll be more captivated by you and be much more likely to be on your team.
        Conversation of the Day: What can you do this month to earn some street cred with your students?
          Hop on over to watch the video and share your thoughts in the conversation.